searching for the strength.

My last two weeks was filled with tears and sadness.

damn* where are you cheerful tini?

I'm still looking for the strength. Best describe as HOPE and FAITH.

he told me to keep running and never look back.

but he forget to show me how to run.

And it seems harder day by day.

p/s: I'm talking about keeping on the same track. My goal is to get deans for every sems and make my parents proud of me.

LET'S FIGHT FOR IT.

.....

welcome back final exams!!!

please, please, please, treat me right.

moga2 Allah memberkati ku dan m'permudahkn semua urusan ku.

amin. =)

hey you

Is it true what i've heard?

I desperately need to hear it from u.

It stops my heart beat.

again.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf z&b to all the people that I love.

I'm writing this post to wish everyone selamat hari raya.
Maaf z&b.

From my previous post, I've said that I was not in a good health.
yup. I was hospitalized twice in two weeks.

1st time, four days at Hospital KK, Perak.
I knew that I was not really in a good condition when the doc finally decided to discharged me.
* After all the drama that i've made. c: *
But I really have to get back to uni as I was very worried about my studies and tests.
So there goes my tests, I've forced my brain to work. When they should rest.

For days, I've taken lots of panadol actifast. LOTS.
I've forced myself to stay strong when they don't have the energy at all.
Sorry body. I have to.
Because I have three more tests on that week.
I knew that I can't do well in my tests. But I don't have any other choice.
I mean, come on, what will people think when u've missed a week of class and then u came back for two days. then making those missing in action drama again when u've lots of tests?
it's like I'm running away from the test.
*I know, stupid way of thinking ha?*
then, on the day I should take the test, I can feel that my temp is rising up drastically.
Finally, I went to the clinic.
40.3 is the no of my body temp.
serve me right! the doc told me to stay at the sickbay.
the next day, I went back home again.
bye-bye test! =(

after 3 horrible days, i'm not getting any better. but worse.
I can'T even drink a drop of water.
I was completely weak.
my parents finally decided to bring me to Ipoh Specialist.
And I was hospitalized for another 4 more days.

I got pneumonia. That's it!
and I'm still taking the medicine until now.
money oh money.
I'm sorry ayah and mak.
and tq for being there when I really need both of you!
I love you. seriously. =)
also special thanx to all of my dear family members and friends.
for all the support and loves.
=D

ALHAMDULILLAH.
I'm getting better. I feel better.
Tq doc Zakaria for taking care of me
*though ur consultation payment was very expensive*
hahaha
but at least, u gave me discount as a 'duit raya'.
how sweet is that? hehe

I can finally enjoy the raya.
=)

early ramadhan: =(

salam to anyone who happens to read this.
ramadhan is finally here. but I guess, this is the hardest ramadhan ever for me.
I am so sick. It's sad to know that I can't even fasting on the very 1st day of ramadhan.
Or should I say on the 2nd day too? yes. I still don't have the energy to fasting yet.
I really hope i'll get better soon. cause I can't take it anymore. the pain is killing me.
I always thought that i'm strong, but this time I surrender. =(

I hope it's not too late for me to wish all of you, selamat berpuasa.
Take care everyone!

I fail again. :(

salam,
it's saturday now. 3.03 am. which mean, tomorrow i'm going back to my Uni.
TAK MAHU!!! =(
well, in few hours, ayah will wake me up. as usual lah.
I promised to accompany him to go to Kuala muda kedah.
he has 'bot ikan' there. so, we're going there to collect the income and 'buy' lots of fresh fish. =D
ayah sgt suke nasi kandar, so our next stop will be Pineng.

the truth is, I haven't finish packing my stuffs. u know, for the uni thingy.
huhh, tried to pack all my weirdo thgs since 5 days ago.
and yet, still hasn't made it. the mood just keep on running away. haha
I finally decided to bring my car to uni. e/t they didn't allow us.
screw u! dulu ckp part 5 dh boleh bwk, and now i'm already in part 5, u change it to part 6!
then, wut do u expect? when i'm in part 6 u'll change it to part 7 plk?? phew!
I belive we're old enough to drive our own carss. not like we're using urs pon.
*teremosi* sorry. hehhs

I just wanna say that I fail again. oooh. help me please. =(

latest randomness.

dah lame rasenye tak bukak my own blog. I kind of loosing the interest to write notes here. so,, what am I going to write today? lot's of things have happened lately. bad and good news. I guess we can't expect things to be good always. I guess we need the bad to lead us to a better place. be a better human. and we do need the goods to colour our life and day. of course, we will be very upset and feel down when we received the bad news. but honestly, I know Allah is trying to show us something very important from that experiences. I am already 20 now, sounds old enough. I'm not sure I live my life to the fullest yet or not. But I always remind myself to be grateful with every seconds that I still have. and to love every single person that I still have. ALHAMDULILLAH.

I'm so sorry with the lost of my late uncle, amiteh. All my life, I knew he was a very great person. strong and full with love. clearly. without no doubt. I can see that through the way he treated his own family and other people. I respect him for that. yet, I am very sad, because I can't really sit down and get to know him closely. Regret is the perfect word! Amiteh, tini mintak maaf for that. Last time I met him, he was very cheerful and was good in shape as always. But Allah knows the best. semoga arwah dicucuri rahmat. amin. to the people that happened to read this, lets pay him surah al- fatihah. tq for ur concern. kak shua and the rest of my cousins, I hope you will be strong enough to face this. love all of you. =)

hurm.. I hate it when people that I love changed into something that is very bad. maybe they're still searching in their life. but I believe there are many ways other then the bad ways right? I pray to Allah, that you will find the right road in the future. amin. but I've learnt something from it. always think before do something. and I am thankful for that, you.

semester break is about to end in few days. so sad. so sad. haha,,